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How to Calm Down
How to Calm Down
Practical Techniques That Actually Work
Why Is It So Hard to Calm Down?
When strong emotions appear, your brain switches into a protective mode. The part of the brain responsible for survival (amygdala) reacts faster than the part responsible for rational thinking (prefrontal cortex). As a result, your body releases stress hormones, your breathing becomes faster, your muscles tense up, and your mind begins focusing on potential threats.
In this state, your nervous system prepares you to fight or run away. This reaction can be helpful in real danger, but in everyday life it often activates during stressful conversations, work pressure, or overwhelming thoughts. When this happens, simply telling yourself to “calm down” usually doesn’t work, because your body is already in a heightened state. This happens because stress hormones are already circulating through your body and take time to subside.
The key to calming down is not to suppress emotions, but to help your nervous system return to emotional balance. Because the amygdala and the prefrontal cortex cannot operate at full capacity at the same time, priority shifts to one system over the other. To regain control, we need to reduce the amygdala’s response and allow the rational prefrontal cortex to take over again.
Here’s how to do it:
In this state, your nervous system prepares you to fight or run away. This reaction can be helpful in real danger, but in everyday life it often activates during stressful conversations, work pressure, or overwhelming thoughts. When this happens, simply telling yourself to “calm down” usually doesn’t work, because your body is already in a heightened state. This happens because stress hormones are already circulating through your body and take time to subside.
The key to calming down is not to suppress emotions, but to help your nervous system return to emotional balance. Because the amygdala and the prefrontal cortex cannot operate at full capacity at the same time, priority shifts to one system over the other. To regain control, we need to reduce the amygdala’s response and allow the rational prefrontal cortex to take over again.
Here’s how to do it:
Putting Feelings Into Words
One of the scientifically supported ways to reduce emotional intensity is affect labeling — the practice of putting your feelings into words, even by saying them out loud.
Research in neuroscience shows that verbally identifying your emotion can reduce activity in the amygdala, which is responsible for the stress response. This effect was described in the work of Matthew Lieberman, who demonstrated that naming emotions helps regulate emotional reactions.
Try this simple exercise:
It may sound simple, but naming your emotion helps shift your brain from a survival response to a more rational state, allowing your nervous system to gradually return to balance.
Next, you can reinforce the result by balancing the parasympathetic and sympathetic parts of your nervous system using the technique of resonant breathing.
Research in neuroscience shows that verbally identifying your emotion can reduce activity in the amygdala, which is responsible for the stress response. This effect was described in the work of Matthew Lieberman, who demonstrated that naming emotions helps regulate emotional reactions.
Try this simple exercise:
- Close your eyes and focus on what you are feeling.
- Find a word that best describes your emotion. You can use the emotion wheel to help you understand your feelings more precisely.
- Say it out loud or write it down: “I feel …”.
It may sound simple, but naming your emotion helps shift your brain from a survival response to a more rational state, allowing your nervous system to gradually return to balance.
Next, you can reinforce the result by balancing the parasympathetic and sympathetic parts of your nervous system using the technique of resonant breathing.
Matthew Lieberman — Putting Feelings Into Words: Affect Labeling Disrupts Amygdala Activity in Response to Affective Stimuli
[Link] | [Full PDF of the research]
[Link] | [Full PDF of the research]
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